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Some quotes just make you think, they are sometimes sad, sometimes philosophical and they just leave a certain feeling inside you
 
M*A*S*H FUNNY QUOTES
 
and
 
DIALOGUES
(sometimes you have to quote the phrase that provoked the quote ;-))
 
 
 
NEW:
 
Ours not to question why, ours not to let them die. -- Hawkeye
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Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule number one is
young men die. And rule number two is doctors can't change rule number one. -- Henry
 
Somtimes you have to pull down your pants and slide on the ice -- Sidney
 
You know sometimes I think there should be a rule of war saying you have to see someone up close and get to know 'em before it's ok to shoot 'em. -- Potter
 
They'll keep coming whether I'm here or not. Trapper went home and they're still coming..... Henry got killed and they're still coming. Wherever they come from, they'll never run out.. -- Hawkeye
 
There are so many things I was sure I'd have in my life by now. Every birthday reminds me of what's still not there. This just turned out to be another day in the middle of nowhere. -- Margaret
 
Listen, it's too big a world to be in competition with everyone. The only person who I have to be better than is myself. And in your case, that's tough enough. -- Potter to Hawkeye

Don't mind Pierce and Hunnicutt, they're both first rate surgons. Sure, they'll show up to role call in their bathrobes. They keep a still in their tent. Once they ran all my underwear up the flagpole. But I want you to understand it's an honor to serve with these men. -- Margaret
 
You've gotta understand I'm not working on sick people here. I'm working on hurt young people, with essentially healthy bodies that have been insulted by ammunition. -- BJ
 
A war is like when it rains in New York and everybody crowds into doorways, ya know? And they all get chummy together. Perfect strangers. The only difference, of course, is in a war it's also raining on the other side of the street and the people who are chummy over there are trying to kill the people who are over here who are chums. -- Hawkeye
 
Well, boys, it would be hard to call what we've been through fun, but I'm sure glad we went through it together. You boys always managed to give me a good laugh right when I needed it most. Never forget the time you dropped Winchester's drawers in the O.R. 'Course I had to pretend I was mad at ya, but inside I was laughing to beat all hell. -- Potter in FGA
 
Listen, when you love somebody, you're always in trouble. There's only two things you can do about it: either stop loving 'em, or love 'em a whole lot more. -- Potter
 
I'll be Head of Thoracic Surgery at Boston Mercy Hospital. So my life will go on pretty much as I expected. With one exception. For me, music has always been a refuge from this miserable experience, and now it will always be a reminder. -- Charles
 
Frank, do you know what a hero is? Ninety-mine times out of a hundred, he's somebody who's tired enough and cold enough and hungry enough not to give a damn. I don't give a damn. -- Hawkeye
 
The younger they get, the older I get. -- Hawkeye
 
Sidney: Is it true that God answers all prayers?
Cpt. Chandler: Yes, but sometimes the answer is no.
(I like this one, it really seems very logical)
 
[Hawkeye and B.J. bid farewell to each other]
Hawkeye: Look, I know how tough it is for you to say goodbye, so I'LL say it. Maybe you're right, maybe we WILL see each other again, but just in case we don't, I want you to know how much you've meant to me. I'll never be able to shake you; whenever I see a pair of big feet or a cheesy mustache, I'll think of you.
B.J.: Whenever I smell month-old socks, I'll think of YOU.
Hawkeye: Or the next time somebody nails my shoe to the floor...
B.J.: ...or when somebody gives me a martini that tastes like lighter fluid.
Hawkeye: I'll miss you.
B.J.: I'll miss YOU. A lot. I can't imagine what this place would've been like if I hadn't found you here!
 
Look, the Army hates to see a man grin. Makes 'em feel like they've failed somehow. But moan and groan and carry on and they'll leave you all to your lonesome. Long as they know your miserable they're happy. -- Rizzo
 
Look, you can't lay all that on my shoulders. Don't you know how much this place stinks? Don't you know what it's like to stand day after day in blood? In the blood of children? I hate this place. And if I can't stand up to it to your satisfaction, then --- then the hell with it. How dare you? The hell with your Iowa naivete, and the hell with your hero worship and your teddy bear, and while you're at it, the hell with you. Why don't you grow up for crying out loud? I'm not here for you to admire. I'm here to pull bodies out of a sausage grinder -- if possible, without going crazy. Period. -- Hawkeye
 
Listen, Colonel, um... Sherman. You can give me 100 good reasons to leave, and I can't give you one good reason to stay. Stay anyway. -- Hawkeye
 
Beej, you oughta sit back sometime and listen to the war. It sounds as bad as it looks. -- Hawkeye
 
 

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DrSidney@mash4077.com